Tag Archives: american

A Shitty (yet delicious!) Bodega-Style Bacon, Egg + Cheese Sandwich

Bodega Style Bacon, Egg and CheeseIf you’ve lived in or have ever visited New York City, you’re probably well aware of the plethora of bodegas that stud our streets. And sure, they may provide us with slightly chilled bottles of water on a hot as heck summer day, “aged” chocolate bars that have bloomed (yes, I didn’t know this was a real thing until I moved up here), and of course – BODEGA CATS! Continue reading

The Happy Camper – Kraft Singles, Bacon and White Bread Camping Grilled Cheese

I didn’t grow up in a camping family. There were never weekends in the woods, meals over an open fire, or many bathroomless experiences in my life. In fact, unlike most kids who’ve probably spent at least one weekend in the forest with their family unit, mine missed out on these types of experiences because my dad ran resorts. His idea of “roughing it” was when we had to stay in a Hampton’s Inn because there were no rooms available at the Ritz. I know it sounds ridiculous but it’s totally true and as you can imagine, when my bestie, Kristine, told me we were going camping for her birthday I was totally freaked out.

I know that I’ll probably come off as some sort of  looney toon when I say this, but I am absolutely horrified of the wilderness. Shit, when I go home to Florida and my mom asks me to take out the trash, I sprint. There’s no real reason for me to be running in pure panic, but I just can’t stop thinking that there are goblins and/or other scary beings hiding in the bushes, waiting to jump out and get me.
And more so, I don’t even consider myself a real girly girl, like at all, but an entire weekend in the woods? Without electricity? Without hot showers? With creepy bugs crawling all over me and psychopaths hiding in the woods, waiting to slit my throat when I fall asleep? C’mon! That sounds awful! And even though there were about 7 other couples going on this trip to make me not so scared and alone, I was going on this “adventure” solo, which meant that I had to sleep in a tent alone. WTF was I thinking when I agreed on this?
But luckily for me, my friends idea of camping was not to merely survive off the land, but instead it was more about getting totally tanked in the woods, partying for an entire weekend, and gorging ourselves full on not-good-for-you food. With the help of about 1000 semi-cold Budweiser’s and endless solo-cups full of mimosas and bloody mary’s, and a night spent sleeping at my roommates and her boyfriends feet, I got so drunk that I wasn’t even scared anymore I was able to overcome my fear. I even took responsibility for the meals (truthfully, there was nothing else that I could help with) and made a grilled cheese snack-fest after the first night of belligerence. By combining gooey kraft singles, crispy bacon, and crunchy white bread in bacon grease, this grilled cheese sandwich is a comforting camping essential. And after eating it, you won’t even think of that movie when all those drunk kids got murdered when they were going on a camping trip with their buds. 

 Camping essentials:


-2 slices of bread
-2 slices of bacon, cooked
-3 slices of Kraft Singles

-a noose


After you wake up and slam 4 bud heavies, get one of your friends to make the bacon. Don’t even think twice about throwing out your leftover grease. Remember, if you dump it in the woods, bears and other beasts will come find it and eat you. You must save it for grilled cheese. There’s no other option. 
After they’ve cooked it up, hide it in your personal tent so that all the campers won’t gobble it down before the grilled cheeses are ready. If it’s nighttime, do not hide bacon in your tent. You’re just begging for trouble if you do. Anyways, grab 2 kraft singles and plop them down. Throw those plastic wrappers in the trash, not the river.
I need to address one thing because I know that some of you are probably like “what’s with the kraft singles grilled cheese girl?” well I can do my best to answer that, I resorted to those because I don’t think they can ever go bad.
Run out of ice? no sweat! Kraft singles will stay fresh forever. Just don’t think about why too much.
Since there were about 15 of us, I was only able to ration 2 slices of bacon per sandwich but you could do better! Cover your sandwich with as much as you can. I learned that diets don’t count on camping trips which is super fun.
Then add another Kraft single. Take in your surroundings… and another drink. 
And the other slice of bread – which will help with the hangover that you’re about to have in 8 hours.
Now place some sort of cooking tool over a fire, making sure to cover any plastic parts with tinfoil so they don’t melt. I brought my big ass skill
et because it’s my comfort item. Then with the remaining grease, plop your grilled cheese in and spin it around so that it soaks up all that delicious bacon juice.
Let ’em cook for a few minutes, it all depends on the size of your flame at this point, and let them get all crispy and melty and good. 
Then when it’s done, holler at everyone to make a new batch of Bloody Mary’s and present them with your creations. You’ll want to smile and nod in appreciation as they hoist you onto their shoulders and carry you around the campsite in celebration.
Don’t forget to take the obligatory food photo to post on instagram once you get service again.
So although though I’m not much of a camper, the grilled cheese sandwich just happens to be the perfect companion for those cold, scary, and drunk nights spent in the woods. And if you’re a big ole wimp like me, I hope this inspires all of you non-campers to get out there and have a good time!

The Bushwick Painkiller – Fried Chicken and Waffle Grilled Cheese with Hot Honey

I’ve only been 26 for a few months now but I’m already starting to feel old. Not aged in the sense of realizing that I’m older than most people at the bars in Williamsburg or as a result from some looming social pressure that’s telling me I should have my life together by now. But rather, old in the sense that my stupid body takes forever to get over a night of cheap tequila shots, PBRs, and awkward creative dance moves. I’m not sure if it’s because 26-year-olds probably shouldn’t still be partying like they’re a freshman in college or that my body is actually not able to detox from the copious amounts of poison that I’ve been putting into it, but something has definitely changed and it’s making me rethink those cheap beer shot combos.
A few years ago, my mornings were a lot different. I’d wake up, still drunk from the night before and be eagerly ready to take on the day, even with smeared mascara streaking my face. Brunches at the Metropolitan White Castle, while still in my clothes from the previous night didn’t phase me. In fact, while my friends and I were busy downing mini cheeseburgers, chugging cherry coke, and categorizing our friends as either cats or dogs (think about it) I realized something very important – I come up with my best material when I’m minus a few vital brain cells. But I’m quickly realizing that I’m not so hilarious when I’m hungover these days. It’s actually kind of depressing.
As I once thrived in my fuzzed out state, I now am a pathetic mess that pitifully texts my roommates “death” which translates as “puhhhlleeasseeeee may I have a bottle of Mexican coke, saltines, advil, and a hug”. I’m super lucky that they usually deliver because with their help, I can usually make it out of bed by 1pm without booting. But sometimes I’m the one that receives the suffer-texts and when I get those, I go to great lengths to repay their generosity. That’s how this ridiculously insane sandwich was born. That and after staying up really late and watching the Food Network’s segment on the Grilled Cheese Truck’s fried chicken and waffle sandwich. I think I even dreamt about it that night to be honest.

These ingredients will make you and your friends life better…


-2 undercooked waffles
-1 cup of fried chicken
-4 Kraft Singles
-2 pats salted butter
-.5 tbsp honey
-.5 tbsp hot sauce

So before we begin, let me stress that it’s super important that your waffles are undercooked. If they’re not they’ll end up burning too quickly before the cheese melts and then you’ll hate life more than you already do. Trust me.

Ok, so to begin, slap two Kraft singles down onto one of the waffles. Easy, right? See, I do care about you.

Then it’s time for the life-saving ingredient – FRIED CHICKEN. I think little nuggets work best on this sandwich but you could totally just use chicken fingers or whatever you have on hand. Just don’t use anything with bones on it. That sounds like an awful idea.

When it’s all evenly laid out and you’re about to chow down on one too many “tastes” of the fried chicken, then it’s time to mix the hot sauce and honey together. This is my all time favorite condiment on fried chicken. It’s so good. Sweet and spicy and oh so sticky. Smothering it on at this step helps the sandwich stay together so you can eat it when your fine motor skills aren’t working so fine.

Now put the other two Kraft singles on top and you’re almost done! I know some of you might be saying to yourself “Kraft Singles, WTF? That’s not real cheese. What is this nut thinking?” But believe me, Kraft singles melt perfectly and for some reason their artificiality makes this sandwich even better. Actually, do preservatives soak up toxins??

Once this little sammie is built, it’s time to heat up the grill. Turn your burner to medium and melt a pat of butter right in the pan. Place the GC on top and let it cook until it gets all crispy and golden and melty and delicious and irresistible. Yes, a sandwich can most-definitely be irresistible.

After grilling for about 4-6 minutes on each side, this bad boy will be all done and will anxiously be waiting to be shoved down your gullet and into your belly. I’d let it rest for a second to let those preservatives in the Kraft singles firm back up into scrumptious artificial cheese goo.

And that’s it. Simple, easy, and hell-a good. So whether you make this sandwich for yourself or for someone who probably should visit the hospital to get an IV drip, it’s going to be fulfilling, rejuvenating, and
utterly dank-licious. You can even grind up some painkillers and sprinkle it on top for a powdered sugar effect but that’s probably a bad/extremely disgusting idea so don’t do that. The ideas cool though.